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Conscious of Environmental Mysteries
] “The population of starlings is decreasing and nobody can tell you where they’re going. It’s worrying isn’t it? All these birds just going missing.”
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Willingness to Compromise
“I like their sandwiches! They always give you a stomach ache but they’re nice.”
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Objective Thinker
“Childbirth’s a breeze; you want to try a nail in the foot. That hurts.”
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Thrifty
“It was my wife’s shuttlecock before I even met her, and we’ve been married 25 years.”
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Confident and Outgoing
“I came across an alligator once when golfing in Florida. I reckon with a pitching wedge I could have done him.”
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Puns and Wordplay
“If I see a street sign for ‘Cock Lane’, I’d go under it in black felt tip and write ‘leading to Minge Avenue’.”
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Creator of Post-Modern Dinner Etiquette
“Slow down; slow down; stop picking your nose; wipe your mouth…”
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World Wisdom
“I’m 13 years old having a glass of coke and there’s a woman kicking her knickers at me.”
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Financial Strategist
“Sell eggs; that’s what my uncle always said: sell eggs. He was a nutter though.”
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Character Evaluation Expertise
“I feel like she’s got something permanently stuck up her backside.”
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Keen Linguist
“I can hear you loud and clear, but it’s all coming through a bit gobbledygook”
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